Boyfriend School 101

I’ve been thinking of starting a school for guys. It would be called “Boyfriend School.” Husbands would be welcome, too. The only problem is that it might be the blind leading the blind! But the premise is interesting, don’t you think so?

In this lesson, Boyfriend takes Girlfriend out on a date, a special date, say on an anniversary or something. She says she has an errand at the mall, so he should first say, “Fun! Let’s go!” Then, while at the mall, she looks in a window and drools just a little out the side of her mouth. He should ignore the drool, and ask, “Would you like to go in?” She might say, “No, you wouldn’t want to do that.” At this, he should quickly respond with, “I would love to go in. I know how much you like it and it’s fun for me just to be with you!” He might even have to match a “Really?” with a “Really!”

She will walk around, thinking mysterious thoughts. He will wait patiently, smiling reassuringly when she occasionally glances his way. She will then say, “Okay, we can go now.” That is his cue to say, “No, take your time. I have nowhere I need to be except right here, right now, with you.” He might even take a deep breath and say, “Actually, I’m enjoying this. These purses are like little works of art!” She’ll smile, and even if she is thinking he’s full of shit, he will have hit the mark.

The rewards come later!