I am not a meme addict. I can quit anytime I want. One more isn’t going to kill me. I’ll stop tomorrow. I know other people who do a lot more memes than me. They are the ones with a problem! Oh shut up, what the hell do you know?!
The link love meme is simply a matter of weaving a story around Blog Titles using your blog roll. The story can be as sane or insane as you wish.
And the story goes…
Once upon a time, I was happily surfing bloggerbeach, minding my own business, trying to clear my head and contemplating My Virtually Dysfunctional Life. Not surprisingly, after a solid morning of surfing, I was none the wiser. Being happy enough with the last wave (totally tubular!), I swam in, found A Nice Place in the Sun, and planted my board.
I oiled my bronzed body (screw the SPF!), Chapsticked my lips, donned my Oakleys, rearranged my junk in my trunks, and seriously contemplated my next choice. Hmm. Tacos or burgers? I was hungry, and for a moment could think of nothing but food. But then, OMG!, just like that, I switched appetites!!!
A Girl in Short Shorts had walked past, teasing me crazy with her shake, jiggle and bounce. Of course I didn’t notice that she was walking hand in hand with her girlfriend! Always ready for Adventures in Time and Space, I followed the bloggers to a little Japanese restaurant where I hoped to make one of my slick moves. Just inside, we were met by a large, hairy waiter offering a tray of samples. He looked like a Gorilla. Sushi?, he asked. As we reached for a bite, I brushed up against Short Shorts and said, “Hey hot stuff, I bet you like it hot, like the Sushi Diablo, or me.” I guess I’ll never know how she felt about that because her friend, (now I noticed her), told me to f*#k off!
She actually pushed me away. I tried to apologize, meaning no offense. But it was too late. The Offended Blogger went into a long winded rant, which was actually pretty humorous at times. But she didn’t appreciate my smile, and asked me to take it outside. Yeah, right. I wasn’t going to get into a fight with a girl, especially one that looked like she could kick my ass. So I turned around to just leave, and at that same moment, the bitch pulled down my trunks! There I was, The Blogger Exposed! I quickly pulled up The Junk Drawers and said, “You are really Twisted Sister!” I was mad. A crowd started to form around us, cheering us on. But I got way lucky. The bloggerbeach patrol was eating lunch there and quickly broke things up. “Move along. Nothing to see here.”
On the way out, the gorilla waiter offered me another sushi. I took it and his advice. It was not bad for a Caveman. Conclusion: Don’t dick around with a dyke and her date. That was a very good lesson for me. I grew that day.