Sometimes my feelings puzzle me.
I found it curiously difficult to find something to be grateful about today, even though I was actively trying. I noticed I was feeling anxious, and I have since sorted that out. Talking with Gail helped. And I was also concerned and preoccupied with several issues regarding my patients. I am also a little worried about my 2 year old nephew in Columbus who developed acute appendicitis today and had emergency surgery. Financial worries like to creep in there at these times, too. My mind seems to be jumping from one anxious or worried thought to another today. There are too many loose ends.
I know my anxiety will melt into some other feeling sooner or later. And I know I will take care of all the stuff that worries me. I’m grateful, I guess, that today I am able to recognize my own anxiety. I have been fairly oblivious about my own feelings for most of my life, and didn’t take care of them in healthy ways. But today I can tell when I’m anxious, or sad, or hurting in some way, or ashamed, or joyful. I am always grateful at the joyful times. But I guess I’m grateful to be able to feel everything, and that I’m better at taking good care of my emotional self.