4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
This song, “Mirror Mirror” by new artist Diane Birch strongly reminds me of something. When I was 42 years old I received a gift. A really great one. The Universe must have decided I was ready to receive the gift of Introspection. It had prepared me properly for it by giving me free rein to use my thoughts, words and actions to thoroughly mess up my life, over and over again! So at age 42 I did my first 4th step.
I remember taking it very seriously. I was actually looking forward to it, as opposed to the many people I know who dread it. I sat down with pen, journal, and the time to do it justice. It became one of those experiences that are forever etched in memory. I started writing down my first character flaw, then the second. I started writing faster because I had a long list of “issues” in my head and didn’t want to forget them as I was writing them down. When I got to about twenty, and actually saw the mess that was me, the tears started to flow. I got to thirty… then forty… I stopped somewhere around 50. By then, the tears were mixed with smiles and outright laughter. You see, the tears were only a little about the pain. They were mainly tears of joy! In those moments, I saw the problem, and the solution! I saw that I alone was responsible for the mess I was in, and not everyone else. I truly realized what an imperfect person I really am, jumped off my pedestal for good, and joined the human race.
I have a mountain of flaws and defects. I am a “project.” I’m okay with that. I don’t mind working long and hard at difficult projects, especially when they are me! What I’m grateful for is the awareness of exactly what the problems are. When I know the problems, the solutions are close behind. The gift of 4th step introspection gave that to me. The key. And I value it because I know that not everyone gets to have this gift. For whatever reason, many people are unable to really look inside.
So, thank you Diane, for this nice reminder. And thank you for your lovely youthful spirit that shines brightly in “Bible Belt.”
What a wonderful gift indeed. Congratulations.
Have a terrific day Ferd. 🙂
.-= Comedy Plus´s last blog ..Awww…Mondays #21 =-.
Hmmmm… I've been thinking about it. A lot. I've done it in my head but haven't actually sat down and made the list.
This song is beautiful! First time I've heard it. Thanks Ferd!
Thanks, Sandee! It IS a terrific day! 🙂
Dawn!
I did it in my head for a while, too, before sitting down to write. I'm pretty sure your 4th will be awesome!!!
: D
Beautiful song. 🙂 It really says a lot.
Well, Ferd, one more reason to admire you: for your courage. Do you realize how many people live their entire lives without once even considering introspection? We are all projects, as you ably put it. I know that as long as I make the effort to progress daily, in improving myself, I'll be happy. Awareness is definitely something to be grateful about (as you know, stupers have no awareness).
Lovely song!
.-= Keli´s last blog ..Stupidity and Math =-.
Jess~
I thought so, too. It's one of those songs that is slow, uses words sparingly, but says a lot!
Keli~
Admire me!? LOL
It's me who admires YOU! I admired you first!!!
Yes, I look for my daily lessons, too, to progress in life spiritually. And that's why I love to visit your site! 🙂
How did I miss this post and this song? Both are beautiful. The gift of introspection is a ongoing process and truly a gift of joy. It is how we mature. It is how grow beyond ourselves into the greater good. Interestingly, the unselfishness always leads us right back to who we truly are.
I feel sorry for people who choose to remain unaware. There are many who do. They are missing out.
I am proud of you for sharing this with us. You're about to share it with many more 'cause I'm going to favorite it on Facebook. Wonderful post! You should write more about this. Very inspiring.