This is the second lesson in the Boyfriend School series. Husbands, of course, are welcome. Women, you already know this information, so you can skip this post.
This subject is not that difficult, but I see young men mess it up time after time. The question, “Does this make my butt look big?” has become a cliché. A popular book is entiltled, “Does this clutter make my butt look big?” A famous humor blog writer, who happens to be my friend Kathy at The Junk Dawer, just wrote a post entitled, “Does This Car Make Me Look Fat?” But at its core, this subject is no laughing matter. When a guy is presented with this question by the object, I mean woman, of his desire, he better get the answer right, or he’ll have to quench his desire with a cold shower!
After years of careful observation, I have learned that the correct way to answer this question politely is based entirely on ethnicity. And I know I must be correct because this is very simple, and simple is usually right.
If your woman is either black or hispanic, and she asks, “Does this make my butt look big?”, the polite response is, “Yeah, baby! Bring it to me!!”
If your lover is anything else, you should grace her with, “Big??? No way!!! You look curvalicious!!!” Of course, you must be perfectly sincere.
How difficult is that? It always pays to use good manners.
You’re welcome.
Thanks to Jen at Sprite’s Keeper for yet another excellent Spin Cycle prompt.
Curvalicious? I'll buy it! Wonderful Spin and I love how creative it is! Finally an answer to the age old question! You're linked!
<abbr>Sprite's Keeper’s last blog post..Spin Cycle: Fame Is Fickle</abbr>
My husband doesn't need to read this, fortunately for all involved, because he NEVER EVER has been asked this question. Yes, I do own some property in Florida, and no, it's not swampland.
<abbr>Keli’s last blog post..Hospital Stays and Stupidity</abbr>
Jen~
Thanks for the link! I've had a chance to meet some of your readers, and they all seem to be really nice people!
: )
Keli~
He's lucky, then.
And, I would NEVER EVER think you were naive in any way, shape or form!
Will catch you at Counterfeit Humans.
This should be put on a plaque and hung in men only rooms, some men still need help with this age old question. Fortunately I've been married a long time to the same man and he knows most of the answers by now 😉
<abbr>Elaine’s last blog post..Health Care Seen As The Top Priority By Many Americans</abbr>
Elaine~
Lucky you! We need more men like that, with "most of the answers." The rest of us are just floundering around!
It it's SPECTACULAR that you are able to differentiate between the response for a Hispanic/African American woman and other women that are not in those groups.
I will be linking this post to my dude friends!!!
I spun too!
<abbr>GiGi @ Incrementum’s last blog post..Spin Cycle: Movie Manners (or OCD?)</abbr>
GiGi~
Thank you! I've been called a smart-ass, so I must know about these things! LOL
I'll check out your spin!
I am printing this out and putting it in my husband's manual to treating me like a skinny-butted queen.
Thank you.
<abbr>San Diego Momma’s last blog post..PROMPTuesday #52: Craziest Travel Adventure</abbr>
Very sage advice!
<abbr>Heidi’s last blog post..Ooooh! Pics!</abbr>
That’s an ientlglient answer to a difficult question xxx
Deb~
I would kill to get my hands on that manual! LOL
Heidi~
Damn! I didn't mean to come off "sage!" Isn't that for really, really old people?
I came over from Sprite's Keeper, and now I'm very amused. While I'm not of any sort of interesting ethnicity, I think I might appreciate a good "yeah, baby, bring it!", were it phrased in the right tone.
<abbr>Rachel’s last blog post..Spin Cycle: A lecture from Miss Manners</abbr>
'Curvalicious' – love it! I am SO going to be using that word in the near future! 😉 Then I can use a subliminal message like "Honey, does this make me look Curvalicious?" so of course he'll respond with an affirmative…(GRIN!)
<abbr>Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)’s last blog post..Little Miss Manners – Spin Cycle</abbr>
LOL-this is perfect! If only guys understood how simple it is-my husband has been forever greatful since I told him that all I want him to say is, "Poor baby! I love you. You're beautiful!" He's actually passed that phrase onto a couple of his guy friends! ;p
<abbr>Shangrila’s last blog post..Spin Cycle: My Best West On Manners</abbr>
Rachel~
Yeah. It's nice to be accepted, and wanted, just the way we are!
Stacy~
Right on! I'm all for subliminal messages. I call it planting a seed. How could he NOT answer you in the affirmative!
Shangrila~
Your comment is really great! I'm glad you could tell your husband exactly what you needed to hear, and I'm glad he would do that for you. It's a win-win situation! ; )