So what do you get your special Princess for an anniversary present? It had to be suitably romantic, right? I knew just the perfect thing! See, I had been listening to her babblings. I had been watching her every crazy move. I observed with interest as she gathered materials for her never ending projects. I just knew she needed a new drill!

Now hear me out. She had purchased her old drill 10 years ago, on clearance at Meijer’s for $20 (“Originally $80,” I’ve heard her say more than once.) It’s a big old clunky thing and the battery doesn’t hold a charge for more than a few minutes. She has two or three partial drill bit sets that she probably got at garage sales. So I knew she needed one. Further, if she were to buy a replacement, it would be another inexpensive generic model that she waited months for to go on sale. But that’s not how I roll. When I get her stuff, I get the Cadillac. So I figured I’d get a Cadillac drill, a small and sexy DeWalt 12 volt hand drill:

I just knew she would like the new quick mount for 1/4 inch bits, and the 3 LED lights that illuminate the target, and the small size to fit her small hand. And I wanted her to have a brand new drill bit set, along with Phillips and flat-head screw bits of all sizes. I could just picture her high-pitched squeal of delight as she ripped open the box! So I gave it to her tonight.

Guess what? I was totally right! Ha! She flat out loved it! I told her she wasn’t allowed to ask how much it cost and that she wasn’t allowed to take it back for another (less expensive) model. She couldn’t stop saying thank you, and I could tell she was being sincere. How can I tell, you ask? I am just a man after all. Well, she said something about getting drilled tonight!

In this lesson, Boyfriend takes Girlfriend out on a date, a special date, say on an anniversary or something. She says she has an errand at the mall, so he should first say, “Fun! Let’s go!” Then, while at the mall, she looks in a window and drools just a little out the side of her mouth. He should ignore the drool, and ask, “Would you like to go in?” She might say, “No, you wouldn’t want to do that.” At this, he should quickly respond with, “I would love to go in. I know how much you like it and it’s fun for me just to be with you!” He might even have to match a “Really?” with a “Really!”

She will walk around, thinking mysterious thoughts. He will wait patiently, smiling reassuringly when she occasionally glances his way. She will then say, “Okay, we can go now.” That is his cue to say, “No, take your time. I have nowhere I need to be except right here, right now, with you.” He might even take a deep breath and say, “Actually, I’m enjoying this. These purses are like little works of art!” She’ll smile, and even if she is thinking he’s full of shit, he will have hit the mark.

The rewards come later!