And may the odds be ever in your favor!

Time to play another of Queen Mimi’s memes. Thanksgiving was yesterday, but my stomach still feels full so I guess it’s not too late to play!

1. If you knew this would be the last Thanksgiving holiday with your family, what would you do differently.  I would thank them for their love and affection, then I would eat like there’s no next year!

2. What is your favorite Thanksgiving dinner dish? Princess Gail is quite a dish at all the holidays! She’s my favorite!

3. Why did John Smith fall in love with Pocahontas? Was it her beauty or her bravery? Like all great romances, I think it was her hair and her butt.

4. Fill in the blank: Over the river and through the woods to Queen Mimi‘s blog we go.

5. What is a cornucopia?
A. A foot ailment  B. Freud’s hidden coping strategy  C. a Enuch with a very large vocabulary D. third cousin of Onomatopoeia. Well it’s not the Eunuch. They only say “ouch,” in a high pitched voice.

6. Find a word that rhymes with Thanksgiving. Spanksgiving.

7.  Do you have any holiday traditions you’d like to share with us? Being traditionalists, Princess Gail and I celebrate the traditional John Smith & Pocahontas Spanksgiving ritual.

Happy Belated Thanksgiving!!

The Trail Not Taken

Two trails diverged in a yellow wood,

and being unable to take them both

and have one butt, long I stood

considering my rear for as long as I could

until I felt bad for its overgrowth.

…

Two trails diverged in a yellow wood.

And me, I chose the one cut wider-ly.

My butt made all the difference.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Apologies:

Dear Mr. Frost,

Sorry about that. But don’t spaz out. I’m pretty sure your poem was better. Please, do not turn over in your grave! Thank you very much.

Ferd

I’m playing one of Mimi’s memes today. Great subject!  She’s not only the Queen of Memes, she’s the Great Dame of Lame Dates! LOL  Check out her dating profiles blog for a few laughs. Guys, be warned, don your flak jackets, helmets, and any other protective gear you might find!

From the Queen Herself:

Welcome back to the Queens Tuesday Meme.

Are you up for the challenge? Take a look at these seven dating profile headlines from real dating sites. Imagine you are trying to find a date and these gems have just landed in your inbox. How would you respond to them? Write a comeback response to each one. Be sarcastic, be funny, be brave! Spelling errors not my own. Names and locations have been changed to protect the terminally single. If you need inspiration, go HERE for hundreds of funny examples.
You know you wanna play!

In honor of my 500th “Bachelor of The Day” to post this week on my site called Dating Profile Of The Day we bring you The Dating Meme. For three years I’ve been rummaging through online dating profiles to find the zaniest and most ridiculous profile headlines out there. They write ‘em. I spoof ‘em. Do you know that some folks are grammatically insane?? And some are just insane.
Ergo, today’s meme was born.

———————————-
Okay, Mimi. So here are my answers, written as a real woman should reply, from a man’s perspective, being the man’s man that I am am!

1. Birdbrain looking for a mate

I’m short and tweet! Looking for a Birdbrain to lay on my egg!

2. Where Are All The Bad Girls?

Here we are! Me, myself and I! Call us!

3. A Good Woman Is Hard To Fine

A hard man is good to find!

4. Does God Know You’ve Escaped From Heaven?

Actually, I was let go. So, let’s go!

5. I Put the Fun in DysFUNctional

Jackpot! I’ve dated soo many functional men, and they are NO FUN! Call me!

6. Does this profile make me look fat?

ooh, no! I love a man who looks like he could out-eat me and out-drink me!

7. I’m a no nonsince person with little tolorrance for stupitity

I love it when guys pretend they can’t spell. You are soo funny!

Thanks, Mimi! That was fun! I was able to tap into the girly side of me!

; )

 The allergists voted to scratch it, and the dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and the obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.

The ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted; the pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while the pediatricians said, “Oh, grow up!”

The psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, the radiologists could see right through it, and the surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the plastic surgeons said, “This puts a whole new face on the matter.”

The podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the urologists felt the scheme wouldn’t hold water.

The anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

In the end, the proctologists left the decision up to the assholes in Washington.

: )